Meet The Flockers; Series 1, Hannah

The third in the series of blogs that get to know the salty seabirds and understand why they swim in the sea. This week it is the talented and witty Hannah we get to know.

A bit about me –  I’ve lived in Brighton for 12 years, am an artist and graphic novelist and work with children and young people. I have always swum in the sea; when I was little I was very close to my grandad, and  my brother and I loved his seafaring tales. He is immortalised in these comic strips (attached). I have swum in the sea with all the people I love most.

george william - hannah

george william 2

george william 3

Earliest memory of swimming

The ‘baby pool’ at Harrow Leisure Centre with my best friend Jayne, aged about four, singing a dirge-like song called ‘Bobbing Corks’. Blowing up orange armbands, getting chlorine in our eyes (it was 1980: goggles were for welders) -afterwards, Highland Toffee bars (5p!) out of the vending machines. Female friendship and refined carbohydrates…I sense the beginning of a pattern.

 

Earliest memory of sea swimming –

My grandad borrowed a red and white rowing boat from his mate Malcolm and took me and my brother cockle picking from Portland one August…I think it was the Fleet lagoon, between Chesil Beach and the mainland. I was five or six. I remember standing thigh-deep in the shallows, staring at flashes of sunlight on the water and the underwater shadows on the sand, and suddenly being overwhelmed by a total understanding of this hymn we sang at school that went ‘Glad that I live am I/That the sky is blue’. It was, and I was. But the cockles, boiled that night by my nana in a giant saucepan and soused in vinegar, were disgusting.

 

Why did you join the Salty Seabirds – (including ‘what do you like most about the SS (haha)’

I’ve always found groups difficult. I joined a sea swimming club about 10 years ago, but despite some nice people and great swims, ended up addicted to exercise, a bit joyless and full of self-flagellation and anxiety if I hadn’t achieved a certain distance, which the club’s sporty ethos exacerbated. Then my lovely friend Cath introduced me to her lovely friend Kath at the inception of the Seabirds, followed by a steady stream of amazing, inspirational, honest, hilarious, thoughtful, joyful and crotchety women (and the odd man). They (we) swim for companionship with the sea and with each other, to wrestle with devils, to frolic, handstand and sob into the waves, and not once has anyone asked me how far I have swum and judged my response or my fitness. I have found my merpeople! It’s also great that it’s a shifting group, because just as each swim is different because of the tide, weather, moon or mood, so is the social experience you have.

Cath has an amazing gift for being alongside people and casts a magic circle on the shingle wherein all sorts of people can be alongside each other, contented and alive, with cake and tea and without an ounce of competition. And her witchy prancing is a joy.

Kath, as well as being a seasoned sea-dog of infinite wisdom, has an amazing gift for acceptance of others (but she would say she doesn’t) – I and my abrasive, uncomfortable, melancholy edges are very grateful to her for welcoming us.

With a light but sweary touch and a flash or two of arse, they have created something incredible. I will always remember about seven of us sitting on the beach drinking tea and talking frankly about our vaginas, freezing but not wanting to leave the conversation, because nothing like it had happened before.

 

What do you like most about swimming in the sea?

I like feeling small and part of nature. I like being suspended – out of, but also very much in, my slightly creaky (on the land) middle aged body, the weight and lightness of water at every extremity. Moving through it, I feel like some big, streamlined water mammal. I got called ‘sea cow’ by my Year 8 class after we watched a documentary about manatees, and I reclaim it now as my superhero name!

Seasoned With Salt

The best things about swimming n the sea in the winter in Brighton and Hove.

We are transitioning from winter swimming to summer swimming. Sea temperatures are definitely in double digits. But the waters have been devoid of swimmers. It’s around now that I start to swim less often, but for longer. The swim area buoys are still locked in their winter cages, a maiden voyage may have happened by now. By the time July and August comes around, I avoid the seafront, but I’d even face that to swim with my birds right now. That first swim is going to be glorious, but I still prefer winter swimming………

Over the winter months the tourism trade dies down and we get our beach back to ourselves. We reclaim our treasured sheltered spots in the morning sunshine on the east side of the concrete groynes or wooden breakwaters. Space to spread out the huge array of winter swim kit we have accumulated, borne of experience of regular year round swimming.

For those that don’t live within walking distance of the beach, parking spots are actually available on the seafront. Unlike other seaside resorts, it is not free off season in Brighton and Hove, but the traffic wardens tend to migrate inland to prey on locals rather than tourists in the colder months. Having a car in close proximity to the beach is great for a quick getaway when you need to warm up quick. Those with heated car seats are the most prized seabird friends.

The starlings only mumurate over the winter months. Starlings spend their days on the South Downs but just as evening approaches they make their way to the piers and the marina to roost for the night, I live below their flight path and they often stop and rest in the trees that line the streets of terraced houses. Just before sunset they come together to create mesmerising displays of aerobatic feats. This winter we donned wetsuits to swim underneath them, the best seats in the house. You can also catch great clouds of them in the morning as they head north again for the day, giving the gulls their turf back.

Dawn is at a more reasonable hour during the winter months so a sunrise swim is actually achievable without having to have an afternoon nana nap to recover later the same day. And sunsets are at teatime so swimming in the fading light is a regular treat. Our much treasured moon swims often have moon rises that coincide with sunsets in the winter. We have fire pits and bike lights in tow floats to create a festive and fun backdrop as the light fades. Many pairs of knickers have been lost to the sea as we scrabble in the dark and cold to get dressed. On these swims, you look to the east to see the moon make her entrance and then turn to the west to watch the sun kowtow to her night-time friend. Both are strikingly visible and the sea’s constant horizon ensures you have an uninterrupted view, with the exception of the piers, but they just add to the magic! The colours created by the sunsetting are so much brighter and intense in the winter.  There is less water vapour in the air and it is colder which removes any filters. Dust and pollution particles are also less prevalent in the sea. So the best place to watch the sunset is in the sea, in winter. Add in a full moon and some starlings and you’ve hit the jackpot.

 

For many of our flock, winter swimming brings a strange kind of security. The seaweed dies back and the jellyfish disappear so they are secure in the knowledge that whatever lies beneath will not brush past their legs whilst swimming. The dreaded May Bloom doesn’t plague the seas in the colder months. The algae feeds on sunshine as the waters begin to warm up and at it’s worst it can be like swimming through frothy yeasty beer. It even makes the water effervescent. It can hang around for weeks on end leaving your skin slimy and your cossie stinky. Once it dies back it leaves plankton for the jellies to feed on, so once your skin stops being slimy it starts to get stung. But not in the winter.

Many of our salties swear by cold water therapy as a way to manage their wellbeing. This is only possible in the winter months. There are lots of reasons and lots of research into cold water swimming and why people do it. People looking for a cure for depression, anxiety, physical pain and discomfort.   It’s a great group activity and creates community and camaraderie.  Exposing yourself regularly to stress, by swimming in cold water allows your body and mind to adapt to dealing with stress in daily situations. Yes there is pain to begin with, alongside a lot of profanities the benefits are oh so worth it.

Head in swimming over winter is only for the hardy. And that’s not me. I can manage year round skin swimming, without any neoprene accessories but my head is up for the duration, unless I am wiped out by a wave. I wear a swim hat to keep the wind chill away and my hair dry but other than that I am clad in only my cossie. Cold water swimming does not come without it’s risks, you need to make sure you have a quick exit route and strategy. But this awareness can enhance the swim no end. With your head out of the water you are able to notice your surroundings, become more aware of the behaviour of the water and the waves and understand weather patterns.  It is also a more social swim as you chat and check in with your fellow swimmers. And for those who feel a swim is not complete without getting your head wet and stimulating the vagus nerve, there is always the opportunity for handstands before you get out of the sea.

Post winter swim rituals also provide more reasons to get in the sea during the colder months. It is a time to dust of your baking books and start making cakes. The extra layers of insulation created by eating cake, makes you more resistant to the cold temperatures. This has been tried and tested by many of our flock. You can also partake in indulgent day time baths to warm up afterwards (not recommended immediately after swimming!). Baths and baked goods are reason enough to swim in December.

So what of swimming now? False summers, that commonly occur in the UK, can bring a false sense of security. Air temperatures rise at a much quicker rate than sea temperatures and also we are now well into May the sea is very cold. Particularly if you are not a seasoned swimmer. Even in mid-summer you can experience cold water shock, a life threatening reaction to being immersed in cold water. So although there is still the opportunity to get your cold water fix I am still wearing my sports robe, woolly hat and haramaki post swim to beat the after drop caused by a cold core . And eating lots of cake!

 

 

Introducing the Turtleback Bag for Wild Swimmers

This week we are proud to announce a collaboration with Swim Feral, makers of the Turtleback Bag. We are an official affiliate, selling their TurtleBack bags via our Seabirds Wild Swim Shop. We first noticed the name of their company – Swim Feral, we love it! 

This week we are proud to announce a collaboration with Swim Feral, makers of the Turtleback Bag. We are an official affiliate, selling their TurtleBack bags via our Seabirds Wild Swim Shop. We first noticed the name of their company – Swim Feral, we love it! 

swim feral banner

Swim Feral was founded by Jamima Latimer and Sonya Moorhead. They are both artists with a cold water habit and made friends swimming together in a dam on top of a blustery hill in the Yorkshire moors. They designed the Turtleback bag to make the outdoor changing experience a bit more comfortable for those of us who like our swims feral.  Lets meet them…

 Jamima:

“I started outdoor swimming about 3 years ago. I go pretty much everyday, all year round. I love it, its kept me sane through some tough times and brought me plenty of brilliantly bizarre and joy filled times.

Nearly three years ago Sonya had the idea to do #januarydailydip – swimming everyday in January to raise money for displaced and homeless people. We raised a lot of money and had a lot of (freezing and challenging) fun doing it. We were amazed how many people supported us and how many people wanted to join in.

As well as raising money for a great cause the experience inspired two things in me:

  • to encourage more people to connect with the natural world and experience how incredible it feels and the benefits it brings.
  • to make a wild swim bag I could get changed in!

Swim Feral is the result.

If you swim outdoors you will know there are practicalities around getting changed – especially in winter.

All too often I found myself balancing on a plastic bag while trying not stand on the freezing cold ground attempting to pull a stubborn swim sock off with slightly numb hands! This got me thinking – I need a bag that I can stand on, get changed in and that is big enough to fit all my clothes in. I checked if any already existed, I found wetsuit mats but they weren’t ideal; I have to walk to my swim regular swim place and didn’t want to carry more stuff. I needed a bag/mat combo which is comfy to carry as well.

I design and make inflatable sculptures in my other life. So I just did what I always do, I got on with it and made myself a bag. Then my swimming mates wanted one and the feedback was great! I showed my triathlon friends and they were very enthusiastic too.

The result is the The Turtleback Bag.

I’ve spent the last year testing it out and adapting the design. It resembles a big protective shell, it takes care of all your gear and even acts as an extra layer against the elements across your back. (… also turtles are incredible swimmers and live till they are ancient!).

There isn’t another bag like this.”

 

Sonya:

“I grew up beside the sea and spent most weekends and long summer holidays mooching around on beaches with my sisters and friends. I was always the one who got in the water first. I absolutely love salt in my hair and pretending to do synchronised swimming. I’ve swum in lots of beautiful places over the years, I’m a strong swimmer but I am not wild. I’m probably overly cautious about depth and the “get out” plan. I’m also not a mad fan of seaweed or jellyfish.

Since moving to West Yorkshire and finding my swimming tribe, I’ve pushed against my comfortable limits and now do all sorts of feral swims I never thought possible. I even won the local outdoor swimming race last year – The Lee Dam Dash!

I came up with the #januarydailydip in 2018 to relieve my increasing anxiety about the UK’s homelessness crisis and the humanitarian suffering I could see on all my news feeds. I’m really proud of the totals we have raised so far and how the JDD team has grown, but there is still plenty to do.

In my other work I do a lot of project management, marketing and communicating. Jamima and I have talked a lot about Swim Feral as a vehicle to support the outdoor swimming movement with a really good product. We also want to champion the health benefits, especially for women, of immersing yourself in cold watery landscapes.

I also love my own Turtleback bag; it’s the original ruc sack prototype.

The Turtleback Bag – Bringing comfort to the uncomfortable!”

So they sound like Seabirds don’t they? Supporting them was a no brainer for us at Seabirds HQ. You can also support Seabirds if you decide to buy from Swim Feral by going through our blog site here or via our website.  Thank you!

2

How a child copes with a curfew

Children experience new things all the time. It’s how they grow. All that we are experiencing now is not new. So look to your inner child for ways to cope.

I am an adult, but a large proportion of my responses to situations, no matter how trivial, are very childlike. As I navigated and passed through adolescence to adulthood, I learnt to disguise my immediate response, most of the time, sometimes my face will still give me away. My unadulterated go to emotion in any given situation will be raw. Painfully raw. Followed rapidly by ‘it’s not fair’ thoughts and lots of self-pity. Even someone’s light-hearted comment about what they cooked for dinner last night can release my jealous inner brat. He’s normally sent to his room without any dinner for reacting so childishly and rational thinking is allowed to return. More paradoxical thinking.

Much of childhood is spent learning to be an adult. Not the understanding credit card APR, mortgages and pensions type of learning, but how to behave appropriately and responsibly in society. And most of us have nailed it. But sometimes to the detriment of the inner child. Feeling childlike joy, playful happiness and innocent wonder is something you should never grow out of. I got this back in abundance when I started to swim with the Salty Seabird flock. We bring out the child in each other, pulling moonies, doing handstands, diving through waves accompanied by loud laughter. Lots of loud laughter.

Having always had mental health issues and episodes of poor emotional wellbeing I am always checking in on how I feel. Now I have a new worry. I worry about other people’s mental health. Particularly the mental health of my flock of Salty Seabirds with the removal of their regular cold water swims. And we are most definitely having to act appropriately and responsibly at the moment. Just when we need it our escape hatch has been firmly closed.

It isn’t just the company, connection and community that make our daily dips such an adventure. Cold water swimming means we regularly subject our brains and bodies to a risky environment and our fight or flight reactions are triggered. I do it because this repetitive behaviours demonstrates to my brain that I can and will survive when the worst happens. So I know I will survive the current situation. What worries me is that everybody has the capacity to experience poor mental health and as a direct result of social isolation and lock down regulations some normally sound and stoic people will. I have had years of therapy, counselling, reading books and articles exploring mechanisms to manage my mental health. But others are not as well equipped as me to deal with it.

But we do all have a childhood. And that has equipped us to deal with the current situation in more ways than we probably realise. Whether we had a good or a bad childhood, we had one, during which we experienced new things. Our first snow, our first kiss, our first swim. I listened to a podcast recently in which Dr Gabor Maté said the response to C19 crisis has seen the removal of distraction from our everyday lives and that the emotions we are feeling are not new. We have experienced this uncertainty before. Everything we experienced in childhood, at some point, was a new experience. And it got me thinking. I have experienced a much more insular world, insecurity, boredom, simple pleasure, waiting and day dreaming all before. As a child. And I realised I was experiencing it again.

I had a rich upbringing in the 1970s and 80s. Not rich, as in financially well off but rich in substance. I haven’t experienced any childhood trauma and look back with affection on my family life. Over the last few weeks, I realised I have readily drawn upon the skills I learned as a child. Bought up in a large family by a fireman and a teacher, self-sufficiency was encouraged and to make do and mend was a necessity rather than a response to environmental concerns. A make ends meet philosophy has seen me regularly whip a meal from leftovers and tins just like my parents did.

I can also deal with the seemingly endless same old, same old day by replicating my childhood activities. This is not a time for learning new things. It is a time for remembering how to do things you used to do! One of which was the skill of being bored. So you will not see me joining zoom anytime soon or partaking in a Facebook quiz. Don’t get me started on top 10 albums, they are for listening to and reminiscing, not posting on social media. Instead I am remembering how to grow carrot tops and mend my favourite cut off jeans. I can read quietly in a corner, I can go for a walk and recognise sky lark song, I can cloud gaze and I can watch rain drops run down a window pane. All these things I have done before as a child. Even my relationship with the sea was borne of my upbringing.

My mum asked me recently if my mental illness is her fault. ABSOLUTELY NOT. In fact, the way she raised me has given me a huge range of tools and coping mechanisms including my love of the wild and the water. But the most important lesson she taught me is that children need to be bored. Because it is through that boredom that your brain can create a whole new world of experiences and you can feel all the emotions it provokes. I’m struggling with the uncertainty and insecurity of it all but I have accepted that being frightened is a ‘normal’ response and reaction rather and I’m going with the flow.

So, let that inner child have a tantrum at the injustice of it all. But also let that imaginative, curious, self-sufficient, problem solving kid have a turn at the helm once in a while. Seeing things through their eyes, feeling the emotions they experience will remind you, you’ve been here before and you survived. Just with a few grazed knees and great stories to tell.

Stay Salty

xx

The inner teen!

Bird of Paradox: Finding your Flow

“And if we swim with the current, instead of fighting against it, we find a momentary state, one of motion and yet paradoxical stillness that is flow” Bonnie Tsui

I still get people exclaiming surprise that I suffer from Anxiety and Depression. After all these years, lots of no shows at parties, periods of silence, people that have known me for years are still shocked when they ‘find out’.  Even when people have read my blogs, which are basically a handbook for interacting with me, they proclaim they had no idea and overwhelm me with intense and intimate questions which see me recoil instantly. You see I am a bird of Paradox. I have a loud, outgoing, confident public persona and I have a much protected, social introvert private life. Very few get to see both as I am ashamed of the latter.

I also have paradoxical emotions and feelings about the same situation at the same time. Which has me well equipped for C19 lock-down – everyone is swinging from high to low. Feeling anxious one minute and feeling relieved at the slow pace the next. For once my feelings are deemed NORMAL. Oh the times I have wished to be normal, but I didn’t really imagine a global crisis would be the way I achieved it. I have always had periods of energy and enthusiasm mixed in with periods of overwhelming sadness and staring into space. They can happen in the same day, the same hour and the same moment. But having lived like this for years, I have found my flow.

I am best in the mornings, I am fresh and ready. How I start the day can pretty much dictate how it will pan out. So my routine is awake around 5/5.30, I am an early bird, and drink a vat of tea in bed coming round slowly whilst my husband gets up for work and leaves the house around 6am. I will then do emails, write and do some work with a lot of pottering in the quiet kitchen. The teens normally surface or are woken at 7.45 and are gone by 8.30am. I’ll do some form of exercise and then the day starts. None of this is now happening. No one leaves the house, there is no pottering, exercise is sporadic, the only consistent is the amount of tea I drink, which will always remain a lot!

So I’m having to find a new flow. This new flow sees the social introvert in me thriving. But hiding yourself away all of the time isn’t exactly healthy although I am enjoying the removal of social pressure, particularly nights out, I know this isn’t necessarily good for me. Regular exposure to situations that make me anxious form a vital part of my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

I find flowing easier when coping mechanisms like swimming are in my life and just when I need it the most, it has been taken away. Bonnie Tsui, author of ‘Why We Swim’ said it best recently in a New York Times article ‘What I Miss Most is Swimming.’ She said, “And if we swim with the current, instead of fighting against it, we find a momentary state, one of motion and yet paradoxical stillness that is flow” So I am learning to accept my new environment and go with the flow.

Having lived my whole life with paradoxical thoughts about my existence and personal circumstances I am actually adapting to the current situation well. I guess years of practice has me game ready. I accept my conflicting thoughts about my current living arrangements, upheaval of my precious routine and limited access to the beach and sea.  I am not trying to change my mindset with gratitude exercises, positive affirmations or celebrating getting dressed for the day. Having furious thoughts about the world, silent sobbing moments and over-reactions to the smallest things are my state du jour. And right now it’s acceptable, reasonable and frankly unavoidable.

So in the absence of swimming in the sea, give yourselves permission to feel all the feelings. Positive and negative, rational and irrational. I am of the school of thought that no feelings are irrational as some valid emotion has triggered them. And at the moment a global pandemic is it. So I asked myself, how am I feeling?

Well I feel relieved because life was beginning to get very busy before all of this happened and now the pressure is off to perform at my optimum and there is absolutely no chance of burn out. I am fretful for my family and friends and their safety and wellbeing. I am hopeful that the outpouring of appreciation for our poorly paid key workers, the rejection of being productive as a measure of success and the limitless capacity for human kindness will continue when all of this is over. I am overwhelmed at the opportunities available to me to finish DIY, clean out cupboards and learn a new language. I am grateful that my eldest is confined to quarters with me before she flies the nest. I am nervous that social isolation will undo all the hard work I have done to balance my brain and preserve my mental health. I am content in my own company, never bored and pottering in the kitchen and garden is something I could do all and every day, especially when the sun is shining. I am concerned about the uncertainty of lock-down, how long will it last, when can I plan gatherings, holidays and trips. And that was just a quick check in!

I know I cannot control the current situation or how I feel about it. Having paradoxical thoughts and emotions is OK and for once deemed ‘normal’. They ebb and flow like the tide. But I can control how I react to those feeling and emotions. So it’s not really like I’ve found my flow, as the blog title suggest, but rather I am going with the flow. Acceptance is my reaction.

Author: Seabird Kath

NB; this blog was actually a lot longer but has been split into two. So part II will be next weekend.

 

A Bird’s Best Books

This book should be read outside – may it go waterlogged, sun-buckled and wind-chapped

I am an avid reader. When I wasn’t building camps, sailing, running or rock pooling I spent much of my childhood immersed in a book. My whole family are big readers and a lot of our family chat is about which book we’ve just read and would recommend. As an adult I am still the extremes I was as a child. Either running around doing 100 things at once or curled up in a corner with a good book. Every year I receive money for my birthday from my Father-in-Law. This year, with the money, I bought an old leather armchair that I placed next to a blanket box (full of cosy blankets) and a lamp. My proudest moment as a mummy was when my youngest read a book in a day – I remember vividly doing that as a child.

I am a huge lover of fantasy and fairy tales and many of my favourite books are surrounded in mystery and magic. But I have found myself drawn to books of a different ilk of late. I now have a large collection of swim related books. I am not a fan of real life reads normally and the only autobiography I have read is Dolly Parton’s (amazing woman). But in my collection of swimming books are real peoples real life accounts of their relationship with wild swimming. And I have found I like it!

So here are my top ten recommendations – the market is kind of flooded with them so there are so many more I have read and could have chosen. I clearly have a preference for those who use water to wash away their demons. I wonder why?

  1. Waterlog: A Swimmers Journey Through Britain by Roger Deakin. Roger is a dude who had his own moat to swim in – which I believe Seabird Kate’s cousin now owns. He was an environmentalist and campaigned for public access to wild spaces including wild swimming. The book is a journal of his swims in fens, rivers, lakes and the sea. The way he describes the swims make you imagine you are there with him – pure escapism and real magic
  2. Floating: A Life Regained by Joe Minihane. Joe is a Brighton resident and swims off the beaches in Kemptown. He also came and did a complimentary talk for us as part of our Swimposium. Joe’s experience of anxiety really resonates with me, which is why his book is in my top ten. It’s loosely based on Roger Deakin’s book above as Joe seeks to swim the same swims.
  3. A Boy in the Water by Tom Gregory. This is a short autobiographical read. Tom was, and still is the youngest swimmer to cross the English Channel. No offence to anyone who has crossed the channel since, but he did it 80s styley. The book is full of Generation X nostalgia, from the fashion he was wearing to the music he was listening to – a brilliant backdrop to a book about a boy and his swim coach.
  4. I Found my Tribe by Ruth Fitzmaurice. I have found many tribes over the years to meet my needs. But none have needed a tribe more so than Ruth with a husband with advanced MND and 5 (yes that’s 5) children. She starts swimming with friends who call themselves “The Tragic Wives” Swimming Club’ and they swim under the full moon just like the Salty Seabirds. Life affirming, tragic but also uplifting read.
  5. Wild Woman Swimming by Lynne Roper. This book is a collection of writings by the author who swam in Devon and particularly in the River Dart but also the coast. Lynne had survived breast cancer and began swim and continued to swim, all the while writing lyrical about her swims until tragically she died 5 years later from a Brain Tumour. Tanya Shadrick met Lynne, just once, a month before her death and promised her she would edit and publish her writing. And she did. Tanya set up Selkie Press Publishing specifically to do this. (I have heard Tanya read from the book – as well as being a talented and accomplished writer she has a velvet reading voice that you could listen to forever)
  6. Salt on Your Tongue – By Charlotte Runcie. This book, which I read very recently was the perfect combination of a personal story intertwined with mythology and magic. Charlotte writes as she experiences pregnancy and the birth of her first child. As she writes she explores her relationship with the sea and all of the women, real or fictional that went before her. Expect lots of quotes from the book in future blogs.
  7. The Outrun by Amy Liptrot. This is the first book selected for Rowena’s Women and Nature Book Club . Amy tells her story of life as a functioning alcoholic and returning home to Orkney as part of her recovery. It’s very real read and when she resettles on the Orkney isles her experiences of morning sea swims and relationship with seabirds made me smile.
  8. The Salt Path by Raynor Wynn. I have read this 3 times! Another life affirming true story written by Ray about becoming homeless and walking the Southwest coastal path with no money, an ill husband and a tent. She is incredibly stoic, and so I found her hard to warm to, but her writing draws you in. A book about how nature and the sea can heal you and if you’ve got love you’ve really got all that you need.
  9. Swell: A Waterbiography by Jenny Landreth. Confession time! I’ve got this book but not read it yet. But since reading Salt on Your Tongue and the exploration of Women’s relationship with the sea I am keen to read this. Women haven’t always enjoyed the access to swimming that they have now. This book charts e social history of the women that went before us to gain equal access in 1930. It is also the author’s story of her experience of swimming.
  10. Swimming with Seals by Victoria Whitworth. Another one on my bedside table. It appeals because again it is someone’s story about her regular swims in the sea with a supportive swimming community and how her experiences changed her life. Again set in Scotland I cannot wait to read it.

So there you have it. Ten books. Eight I have read and two I am yet to read. If you do decide to buy a book make a small business smile and buy from an independent book shop. Our favourite is Steyning Book Shop . Happy Staying In Seabirds xx

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Seabird Sanctuary

looking for solace during strange times

Now, more than ever I need the sea to save me.  Certainty helps me survive, but those sands have shifted under my feet. The sanctuary of the Seabirds has also been stolen as the flock scatters across different shores. But what’s really making me anxious?

 

My Social Media stream is full of advice on how to weather this storm. Get outside-check. Swim – check.  Run – check. And there are so many silver linings to this cloud. The world slowing down has already had such a positive impact on the environment. People are picking up the phone to check on family, friends and neighbours. Communities are pulling together to provide practical solutions to problems we never foresaw. But my anxiety is still brewing behind closed doors.

And it’s the closed doors that are the problem. I’m not worried about a crippled economy, friends and family falling ill and the end of the world as we know it. Well I am. But I worry about that shit ALL OF THE TIME and I take to the beach and the sea to get back balance and continue operating as a ‘normal’ human being. The anxiety that is brewing is all about changes to my small insignificant ( but not to me) world.

I control my small world to the enth degree. I am Captain of my ship. My First Mate is normally exploring uncharted seas across the European continent  returning late into the evenings or at weekends. The Bosun is either at college or playing football. And the Cabin Boy is usually at school, playing football, out on his skateboard or locked below deck on his Xbox. I know where they need to be and when. I also know with a degree of certainty that I will have the Mother Ship to myself from 8.30am to 4pm every day. But now I don’t!

I don’t like change. I like routine, plans and lists. This year, at Christmas time,  the First Mate decided to take 2 weeks annual leave so the whole crew could all be together at home. This was all good while there were presents flowing but then it was crap. No structure to our days, shitty weather confining us to our quarters, we got cabin fever. Well I did. I longed for them to return to work, school and college and for the reappearance of my routine. A routine that is filled with numerous but solitary activities.

When I am home alone I can be the real me not the Oscar winning performance me. Acting ‘normal’ can be knackering but I have self care solutions. My version of self care can be staying in pyjamas til lunchtime and pottering. And it can be an early morning run on the seafront followed by a swim with the Salty Seabirds. It all depends on my mood and workload. But I only have think about me – not 3 other people. My small insignificant world is expanding when everyone else’s is shrinking.

These self-care strategies have been honed to perfection over years of suffering from depression and more recently anxiety. I have the luxury of part time flexible working from home to put them into practice. But these interlopers, formally known as my family, are now invading my physical space and my head space.

I fully appreciate how this sounds. My biggest fear is something akin to not being able to have a bath whilst watching shit telly in the middle of the day in peace and quiet. While the world is waking up to a pandemic the size and scale of which has never been heard of, I sound like a self-indulgent you know what. But activities like daytime baths, alongside the more well regarded ones like quietly reading, walking the dog alone are how I silence the mental monkeys. Without adequate alone time I don’t get to recharge my batteries and I will not make it to the evening – the time when the whole crew are on board and they need a fully functioning Captain.

My swims with the Salty Seabirds have taken a battering too. My swimming schedule looks something like this; On Monday I attend the biggest swim of the week as it is the start of the week and it’s after a yoga and gym class so my head is able to handle a crowd. Tuesday I’ll opt for an intimate one. Thursday I go with the crowd post run – again after some fresh air, exercise and calming chat with my fellow seabird runners, lots of people don’t faze me. And I may again dip on Fridays with one or two others. If I go to any of the larger swims I tend to get there early and chill on the beach a few groynes over before everyone arrives. This is my schedule. This is my sanctuary. But sensible social distancing is changing the schedule.

When I can handle the big swims they are the best. There’s always laughter and love. But now we are having to sort out smaller swims at different times and places. The community we worked so hard to build is suffering at the hands of unwashed hands. The cold water high is still possible, the respite from day to day worries is still very much achievable but the community that is at it’s core is dispersing. My worry is that people will form smaller exclusive groups and not come back together when the time comes. My worry is our strong bond will be broken. My worry is that some of the seabirds will stop swimming.  I worry.

So what’s the solution? I love my self-enforced self-isolation but I also love my Salty community. I am a bird of paradox.

For my crew we need a family meeting and a timetable of when mum needs to be left the f@?k alone. Especially when I am writing, another form of self-care for me. I need complete silence and solitude when I write as it is one of the few times I allow my brain the freedom to think and it responds at a speed it is hard to keep up with. I have vacated the office to allow the First Mate to work there so I need to build a nook in our bedroom with views over the sea and place a big no entry sign on the door.

For my community I need to look to the community for solutions, which they are already providing in abundance. The challenge  is moving away from social media to maintain your sanity versus remaining connected to your community. So we’re going to look at staring some on-line groups and virtual swims so we can continue to share the swim love.

Whatever my worries are, small or big, self-indulgent or survival, the sea will remain a constant in my life, as will the sanctuary of the seabirds. As for my crew, well, time will tell!

Author: Seabird Kath

Sending you all a shit ton of love  – stay well and stay salty! If you have any suggestion on how to stay connected please get in touch.

Community ideas!

Seabirds Rowena has set up a Women and Nature Book Club that will start on-line until we are able to stop social distancing. There is a small fee to join that will be donated to the Seabirds Women Wellbeing and Water projects.

There will be writing workshops online too hosted by Seabird Sam – we are just going to need to practice with zoom first!

I’m really keen to get the ‘Meet the Flockers’ series of blogs ready to publish. Please get in touch if you would be happy for us to share your story so other Seabirds can get to know each other a bit better. Spaces for 3 more! Can be done over the phone or face to face at a safe distance!

There are lots of opportunities to get involved in the blogs too. We have another three series in  the concept stage.  1. Brighton Beach Community will be a series of interviews with people that live or earn a living by our beaches here in the city. 2. Britain’s Beach Review will be exactly that – when you swim on different beaches in the UK we want to hear all about it from the cafes, to the cliffs and everything in between. 3. Seabirds on Tour – if you have visited or swim in another part of the country or world in lakes, rivers or waterfalls we want to hear about it. I did have trips planned in Ireland and Jersey this year, fingers crossed they will still happen. Where will your swimming take you?

Record sound bites and videos of your smaller swims and share them in the group.  Snippets of your post swim chitter chatter. Descriptions of the sea. Time lapse videos of swims

Positive Pebble Project – get out your sharpies and start writing on pebbles and then leave them in places you know others swim. Positive affirmations, meaningful messages, drawings, whatever you want. If you find one take a picture of it, post it in the group and put it back for the next person to find it.

 

Self Love this Valentines Day

Guest Blog by Salty Seabird Claudine and embracing Self Love this Valentaines

Guest Blog by Seabird Claudine.

“Wow, she really loves herself.” It was a serious insult to others when I was growing up.  Conceited, cocky, arrogant.  Probably an offensive slur I had thrown at me at times, when the brash exterior self I showed to the world belied the insecure reality underneath.  “Self-love” was certainly not something I was striving to achieve.  I thought it was a bad thing.  It seemed better to be self-loathing, self-deprecating, self-conscious – all whilst being bubbly and confident, but not too confident, or else you loved yourself.  See the conundrum here?

That was back then.  Over the years, with all the personal development I’ve done, it slowly dawned on me that loving myself wasn’t an act of arrogance and it didn’t mean I thought I was better than everyone else. I realised that self-love was not only acceptable, but maybe even preferable for my mental and emotional wellbeing.
In 2017 I discovered the body image movement, when a friend suggested going to a screening of Embrace, that’s when it really struck me as more than “OK” to have self-acceptance. After a lifetime of dieting, striving for a smaller body, putting things on hold until I’d just reached that next size down, lost those last few pounds, hoping then I would feel more comfortable in my skin, I discovered it didn’t have to be that way.
The content of the documentary about positive body image hit me like a ton of bricks; a ton of bricks I didn’t have to diet-away.  I heard messages I’d never considered, and had a number of genuine light-bulb moments whilst watching the film, as well as some tears at the sadness of the time wasted on diet culture and self-criticism.  We can take for granted that we need to be slender to be attractive, have curves in the right places and not the wrong ones, and that the only way to be healthy is to be slim.  That our skin can’t show the signs of ageing, wrinkles or cellulite, and god forbid we have hair anywhere but on our heads!  We are told from a young age we must strive for the ideal of beauty that we see everywhere, but these days, that ideal is fake.  Big lips, bums and boobs, small waist, ankles and arms.  Photo-shopped, botoxed, filtered, surgeried, dieted, obsessively exercised, waxed, shaved, sat with a make-up artist and hair stylist for hours.  We can’t look like that and it’s not just young women thinking they can and should.

The beauty industry has told us we have flaws so they can sell us creams, exercise plans, diets, pills and even lollipops to fix them; and we fall for it, making them billions of pounds.  Restrictive eating is a slippery slope to eating disorders.  Living our lives striving to be smaller, fitter, smoother, creates a perfect breeding ground for anxiety and depression.  And putting our life on hold and waiting to feel happy when we’ve made that final change that definitely will be the last one, is a recipe for living an unfulfilled life.

I listened recently with sadness to a radio story about a mum whose daughter had stolen her credit card to get botox, fillers and even surgery to improve her looks at 16 years old, and her parents found out the night before she was booked in for a nose job.  The daughter begged her parents to let her go ahead with it, and they eventually agreed, as she was absolutely convinced that the surgery would sort her out, solve her problems, and make her feel good.  And it did: for a few days.  Her problems weren’t physical, they weren’t about the bump on her nose but she had been brainwashed to believe they were, and they’d be fixed by the surgeon’s knife.
What if we started to really believe beauty comes in all forms?  Because it truly does.
What if we saw getting old as something to be celebrated as not everyone gets to do so?  We should welcome each wrinkle as it shows another laugh we shared with loved ones.
What if we learned to value people for more than their looks?  We should realise that we are so much more than the shell that carries us around.
What if we stopped assuming we can tell how healthy someone is just by looking at them?  We should know that thin people get ill, so do fat people, and fat people get ill, and can be healthy.  Also, that people aren’t worth less even if they are unhealthy.
What if we weren’t glorifying obesity by being body positive, but recognising that the mental health crisis we have in society could be somewhat eased if we took this beauty burden off our shoulders.  We would still take care of ourselves, we would move our bodies for fun and to make them stronger.  What if we worked with girls from a young age to believe this, to value and take care of themselves and see beauty inside themselves and others regardless of the outer casing?


I have totally changed my attitude towards exercise.  I do the kind I like as there isn’t only one way of being fit and strong.  I don’t have to force myself to run when I hate it.  I don’t have a marathon in me, or a half, or even any more 10k’s, but I can swim 4km and can yoga like a yogi.  I don’t always do as much exercise as I’d like, but I don’t beat myself up when I don’t, then turn to the biscuit tin because, “well, what’s the point now?”
Since seeing the film, I have felt so much more comfortable in my skin.  The road to self-love, of which a positive body image is just one part, is a journey, and body neutrality is on the way.  For some, that’s where they will get off the train and where they’ll stay, and that’s good enough.  Feeling neutrally towards one’s body is far better than loathing it, and it will give you so much more freedom.
Since seeing the film I discovered outdoor swimming, now in my second winter, and this helped on my body image journey.  It’s pointless worrying about how I look when I’m trying to get dressed and it’s blowing a gale.  I’ve come to respect my body for what it can do, that not everyone’s can, such as walking into 4 degree water and having a swim.  I truly believe this body is worthy, I value my health and wellness, and at times even love it.  There, I’ve said it, some days I love myself, and whilst my 14 year old self still cringes a little inside, my 43 year old self knows that’s OK.  So this Valentine’s day, if you haven’t already tried saying it to yourself, go on, have a go.  You might even believe it.

I hope you can join us for our next screening of Embrace: 13th Feb, 7.30 at the Walrus pub in Brighton.  Tickets on Eventbrite, here:  https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/embrace-the-documentary-hove-tickets-90587253915

claudine8

A birds eye view

Guest Blog by Seabird Anne as we transition from summer to autumn

This weekend’s blog is an extract from a post that Seabird Anne wrote in our closed Salty Seabird group. She wrote it last Saturday afternoon whilst wearing her new sports cloak! It made us all smile as we anticipate the transition from summer to autumn swimming. Seabirds don’t migrate to sunnier climes – we just wrap up warm!
As the days grow shorter and the people found on the beach in summer snuggle in warm jumpers to keep out the biting sea breeze you may be lucky enough to watch Seabirds evolving into their winter plumage.
Seabirds were once quite rare but in recent times groups have formed on the beaches of Brighton, Hove and as far as Rottingdean and Worthing. They have also been spotted on rivers and lakes in smaller numbers or alone all over the world.
During the summer it is difficult to spot seabirds on the beach as their plumage is usually similar to other beachgoers. Occasionally if you are keen of eye you may spot a canvas “Gertie” cup or bag nestling among a heap of clothes and shoes and that will usually signify a seabird is around.
The first clue that the seabirds are about to change into winter plumage is that the beaches begin to empty of sunbathers and the end of the lifeguard season is looming near.
The change can, for some seabirds, be instant and swimsuit and aqua shoes overnight can transform into neoprene hat, socks and gloves for swimming and fleecy changing robe, fluffy socks gloves woolly hat and the essential flask/cup of hot beverage.
Others take more time and add a little more warmness each time the temperature drops a little more.
Eventually it becomes patently obvious where the nearest flock of seabirds are gathering as you look along the seafront a group of people nearly all wearing the ubiquitous woolly hat and an assortment of warm outer clothes in every colour of the rainbow.
If you are quick you might even see them descend to the beach, lay their plumage on the pebbles and enter the sea singing the song of their people…” oh wow it’s &^%$ing chilly” or the eternal favourite” aaaaggggghhhhhhhh” followed by a high pitched squeal.
They will then exit and wrap themselves up and drink that important hot drink all the while smiling and enjoying the companionship found in the sea and on the pebbles.
See you on the shore Salties xx
Thank you Anne! It’s wonderful to see the flock through the eyes of other Salty Seabirds. 
Copy of sharing the swim love Seabirds Brighton Blog (1)

7 days of Swims

Today I am 47! Today I have been around the sun 47 times. Today the moon has been around me 611 times. And I have spun around on this planet 17,155 times. So how to celebrate?

Monday – The weekly Salty Seabird Swim that we affectionately call Monday Mass, was massive. I am not sure how many of us there were swimming, but it was a lot. We shared tea and cake in time honoured tradition and were joined by honorary Salty Seabird Lindsey Cole, which was a real highlight for us wild swimmers. It takes place on my favourite Brighton Beach, which is in Hove actually, that we affectionately call D5 after the old Lifeguard post call sign.

Tuesday – My actual birthday and I am heading home. Contrary to popular belief, I was not raised by the sea, just spent every school holiday in West Sussex. So, along with a few Salties we are heading inland to Surrey to swim in a pond and a river with a pub lunch thrown in for good measure. These are my childhood swim spots – I hope they live up to my memories. Rumour has it lots of NO SWIMMING signs have been installed since the 1980s……………….

Wednesday – a very low key lunchtime beach picnic and dip is planned with friends I met on the school run many moons ago as my youngest is now 14. Our lives, jobs, families have changed considerably over the years but we still get together regularly for a good natter and once a year they join me for a swim in the sea.

Thursday – is a work day. Meeting in the morning with business partner Cath – which will inevitably start with a quick dip. Then in the evening it is the 3rd session in the Women Wellbeing and Water courses we are running that aim to improve confidence and reduce anxiety via sea swimming. It is Seabirds raison d’etre , it’s what we were set up to do. Sharing the joy and calm sea swimming can bring with others never gets old.

Friday – I am off to Bailiffscourt Spa with bestie Ros. We will be walking on the beach at Climping before making full use of the Spa facilities including a gorgeous outdoor pool and afternoon tea! She is not a Seabird by nature but she is by heart and our happy compromise is an outdoor pool.

Saturday – Saturday mornings are now spent in the sea with a considerable number of kids at Hove Surf Life Saving Club. Not necessarily the restorative weekend swim of choice for some, but worth it for their smiles. The Club is very much in it’s infancy and the kids that take part are all new to the sea and Surf Life Saving, Their enthusiasm lifts your heart and they even smile when swimming underwater! And the people I do it with are the salt of the earth.

Sunday – The last day and not even the slightest chance of it being a rest day. Instead I will be launching a home made raft from Brighton’s Beaches at part of Paddle Round the Pier’s Paddle Something Unusual. It is the only time of the year my friends Clare and Louise get in the water so it would be rude not to join them……..

So there you have it – my 7 days of birthday swims. Makes getting older a hell of a lot happier

Author: Seabird Kath