The Rock – Swimming with my Spouse

My rock in stormy seas. Introducing Mr Seabird

Advertisements

The final part in the family swim stories trilogy.

Part I – Libby in the Lakes – swimming with my Daughter

Part II – Monarch of the Glen – swimming with a Laird

My husband and my depression, have been constants in my life since I was teenager. We met when I was 12 and he was 13 and we got together when I was 15 and he was 16. Right about the time when my teenage brain was experiencing it’s first incidence of poor mental health, and seeking out new risky experiences, resulting in lots of poor choices. He watched the poor choices from the wings, without partaking himself, often clearing up the debris.

Over the years, like any couple we’ve had our ups and downs, as my mental health has had it’s up and downs. Sometimes the two things are intertwined. My choices have improved with age and so has his support. He doesn’t always agree with my choices, decisions and ideas but his support is unwavering. When I let him get a word in edge-ways, he has been known to give bloomin’ good advice. He is the rock I cling to in stormy seas.

My choice to skin swim in the sea year round is also watched from the wings. He loves that I do it, but he neither has the time or inclination to join me. He enjoys being at the beach or in the sea but he prefers gentle beach breaks or small hidden coves and warmer sea temperatures. Our holiday choices are easy. It has to be by the sea and the car is filled with neoprene, SUPs and surf boards. He will get up early for solo surfs and be the first one to suggest a sunset swim before bed. Finding a beautiful secluded beach in Cornwall a couple of years ago and forgetting our swimsuits meant a skinny dip was inevitable. The teens are yet to forgive us.

Our holiday choices match but the type of swims we like can differ. I have been bought up on steep shingle shelves and long shore drift. Brighton beach is my favourite place to swim. It’s familiar, although ever changing. It’s my safe space although sometimes precarious. He only likes it local when it’s warmer and when it’s slack tide. He hates the, sometimes unstoppable, strong tidal current that can be like swimming on travelator going the wrong way. A couple of hard swims home when I’ve encouraged him to swim with me didn’t help lessen his hatred for fast moving water.

On special occasions I can convince him to swim with me on home territory. The featured image above show the pre-swim smiles of my 45th birthday. Early on a Sunday morning in July he accompanied me for a swim out to the buoys in front of the King Alfred. There is no post swim photo. There was no post swim chat. There was only post swim sulks, from both of us. The cross shore pull that had made reaching the buoy relatively easy was making the swim back tough. As I swam beside him giving advice on where to aim for to exit the sea safely and where we had left our bags I infuriated him more as I was able to talk and swim and wasn’t in the slightest bit concerned about getting back to dry land. We ended up having a row in the sea that resulted in me swimming off in the direction I had suggested and him the other. In hindsight I realise I had taken him out of his comfort zone, then emasculated him with my nonchalance in the water only to abandon him when he was feeling vulnerable. The salt in the wound being the walk over sharp shingles at the end of his ordeal. He is so confident in every other aspect of his life it didn’t enter my mind that this was something he was doing for me and not necessarily something he wanted to do.

It really is the pull of a current that he hates. In a warm non-tidal Mediterranean sea he would regularly take the children out to depths and distances that left me watching from a sunbed in horror. Fortunately, a couple of bad experiences haven’t put him off swimming with me…..just not in Brighton. This year’s birthday was spent swimming the Somerset Levels together. Pull of the water panic was replaced by pike panic. There was our trip to Scotland. The glens and waterfalls are hands down, the most beautiful place we have both ever had the pleasure of swimming. The peaty dark brown lochs provided a very different swimming experience as he confidently entered the water I splashed and stayed in the shallows put off by the murky water and what could lie beneath. He also joined my sister and I when we swam in Bude Tide Pool in April in armed only with his swim shorts. But he is at his happiest in a Cornish cove in the summer.

I call him a fair-weather swimmer but he is really not. He just doesn’t enjoy some of the same swims as me and there is nothing fair-weather about being married to me. All the while I wish to skin swim, year round I have the company of the Salty Seabirds. Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all!

Scribe: Seabird Kath

Footnote: I am reading and editing this in bed pre-publication and he is snoring to the point of punching his face in! It ain’t all hearts and roses.

The Gift of Giving – Gift Vouchers

Gift Vouchers are seen, by some, as a cop out. A way for distant relatives to oblige the kids or a present in a hurry. We at Seabirds HQ have a different view. A voucher is a great gift that allows the recipient to get something they really want, avoid postage costs of large presents and avoids plastic presents. Groups can club together and buy gift vouchers for an individual so their total to spend allows them to purchase an otherwise over budget buy. It also enables gifts to be thoughtful and avoid Christmas consumerism. Giving a voucher ensures the recipient spends time relaxing, learning something new, getting outdoors or doing something they love. Who wouldn’t want a massage or a sauna!

Here are some of our favourites from the Brighton Beach Community!

SeaLanes Brighton

SeaLanes Brighton gift vouchers make the perfect gift for family or friends. Whether they are a keen swimmer looking to improve their stroke, or a novice looking to gain confidence, give them the gift of swim coaching in the most advanced endless pool available.There are four gift voucher values available and these correspond with the SeaLanes coaching options. Seabirds have tried, tested and loved the coaching session which uses high definition underwater cameras, to provide instantaneous visual analysis of your technique. Using the video playback, you and your coach can then see exactly what you are doing in the water allowing you to make adjustments to your stroke there and then. It’s on our Christmas List to go back again for more amazing Andy analysis.

sealanes

Beach Box Brighton

Situated within the SeaLanes complex Beach Box Brighton is a wood-fired sauna spa right on on the beach. Their set-up, on a secluded area of Brighton beach, includes a wood-fired sauna in a beautiful converted horse box, indoor changing and hot showers, cold showers/buckets and chill-out area. It is the perfect place post sea swim to warm up. Again Seabirds have tried and tested the sauna and will be returning this weekend with a new batch of birds to experience the Finnish fun. Currently open at weekends over the winter months but it can be privately hired on request. In true beach community style they are donating £1 from each voucher to our Social Enterprise which in turn will enable us to get more people in the sea to improve their well being. We even got owner Liz to swim with us in the summer.

Brighton Beach Bikes

More than just a bike shop, Brighton Beach Bikes is a seafront institution. Run by born and bred Mark there is nothing he doesn’t know about the local area and not just bike routes! You can hire your bike on-line and pick up on the seafront or join a tour. There really is nothing better than being outside with the whole family. So why not book a bike for the Spring with family or friends to ensure you get outdoors and get to spend time with each other. In the summer months Mark swims regularly and welcomes anybody to join him or is always happy to look after your stuff. They have a selection of clothing, swimwear and accessories in store. Take home an original design Brighton Beach Bikes t-shirt, or if you want to give your bike that Californian style they’ve some cool bike accessories from Electra. They are experienced sea swimmers so they carry swimwear, goggles and wetsuits from TYR and Aqua Sphere as well. It’s where the Seabirds get theirs!

Brighton Beach Bikes logo

Seabirds Ltd

An then there is us! We have just launched our Gift Vouchers. Not only does the voucher allow the recipient to chose a gift from our webshop it also allows the purchaser to give as they live. As a Social Enterprise everything we sell increases the donation we make to Surf Solace, a local community group. They aim to improve the wellbeing and mental health of Sussex based young people by encouraging them to participate in sea activities with a supportive group of volunteers. Surf Solace will launch in the summer of 2019 and the unrestricted funds website purchases raise will be used to buy equipment such as surf boards and wetsuits.

seabirds logo

Plastic Free Christmas Hack!

The fabulous and inspirational Surfers Against Sewage are crowdsourcing tips for a “Plastic-Free Christmas” guide – which they will release during the days of advent.

Seabirds the have added a few suggestions and would encourage you to add them to their post and in the comments below this blog please 🙂

Here at Seabirds HQ, we’ve been thinking hard about how to reduce all our waste at Christmas.  ZERO waste might well be a bridge too far but we will do our very best. Here are some suggestions below on how to make it less of a waste-binge-horror-fest this Chrimble!

A few tips for a less-waste Christmas

* Buy pre-loved

Shop from second-hand shops to find unique gifts that are built to last. Charity shops, vintage markets and shops like Brighton’s own Pre-Loved

* Give memories, not ‘stuff’

Go for an experience. No shortage of brilliant ideas in Brighton. It even has Feminist Swear Nights which sound truly perfect for our potty-mouthed Seabirds… How about Membership of the Duke of Yorks Cinema? (last year they had great Black Friday deals…hopefully the same this year. Apologies for mentioning BF), A Kimchi making workshop, a gig or a talk about anything from micro-dosing to the art of flirting….or, my personal favourite –  the Catalyst Club , which promises to celebrate the singular passions of everyday folk. That’s us!
 
* Make your own cards, presents and wrapping

We love re-using fabric wrapping like the Japanese Furoshiki or even old scarves. My kids re-use last year’s cards for gift tags and we are already busy collecting glass jars to make kimchi for everyone this year.

* A Secret Santa actually worth doing

Have fun, save money and get a gift you actually want with a “friends and family Secret Santa”. Our family uses  DrawNames to keep it anonymous and add as many present suggestions as you want. Saves you time and money and avoids you getting or buying unwanted landfill. Buy some brilliant gifts from Wastenot Shop – it’s plastic free paradise

  • Don’t go anywhere near a Poundland.
  • Make your own crackers, without the landfill plastic moustaches.
  • Buy all your presents from us!  All carefully chosen to reduce the use of single -use plastic or be very very useful and long-lasting!

What are your top tips? Do  please share and re-share you ideas….

Author: Seabird Catherine
xmas3